In which Jane Elizabeth nearly dislocates her shoulders trying on ....

the "Body solutions - moulded multi-way full slip" in Marks and Spencers lingerie department changing rooms on thankfully, a very quiet, Wednesday morning! The previously mentioned garment is needed to encase my voluptuous form (nice way of saying a bit cuddly) for the bridesmaid dress that has just arrived in Berketex for a fitting - in fact for me to fit into it.

This was no mean feat, to which I will now explain in full! Having carefully chosen many and various forms of body sculpturing, waist nipping and fat flattening garments I located the changing rooms and with wishful thinking, in my part, tried on the above mentioned items. Nobody can fully explain this experience to you, rather like childbirth and/or learning to swim, until you've actually done it. The scene in front of the VERY unflattering full size mirrors was not something for the faint hearted, in fact during the trying on of the "full-slip thingy" I did very nearly dislocate my left shoulder and perhaps wistfully dreamed I needed rescuing by some very strong and masterful firemen from Nottinghamshire County fire brigade in very big boots and shiny yellow helmets but stop now, they would not have liked what they saw, as I certainly didn't. I sheepishly took back all the garments, looking perhaps a little flustered, and stated I needed a bigger size to which the lady, receiving my body solution garments, stated "Did you work out you should pull it up from the bottom and not over your head". Had they heard me struggling, was there secret CCTV in the cubicle or did my hair looked tousled in a very un-sexy way.!? Probably all three! Back I went in again with a larger version of the previous versions and did manage to pull this sculpturing device on without serious harm to myself or any furnishings and walls! The only problem with these underwear items is where the extra/excess skin/fat goes - I will leave this to the readers imagination......

You may ask why a flower, a passion flower at that? To take your mind of the very unkind images that I have described.

Always happy to help, love from the Very Magic Janey XXXxxx